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revheadpin
Posts:21
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| 08/29/2011 7:14 AM |
 Alert
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Am I Gay?
I Just wanted to be a normal guy … was that so much to ask?
Authors name withheld
1 of 3
Read the entire article online: http://www.christianitytoday.com/iyf/hottopics/sexabstinence/7.58.html
My friend Jason* stood on the far edge of the driveway and fired off a fade–away jump shot. Swoosh. The ball only caught net and bounced on the pavement. I grabbed it to pass to him when he said, "Hey, did I tell ya I had a girlfriend?"
"What?" I said dropping the ball. "Yeah, I asked Crystal out last week, and now we're sort of boyfriend and girlfriend."
"Oh," was all I could say. I tried to act as if Jason having a girlfriend was no big deal to me. But it was a big deal! I hated the idea that he would be spending more time with someone else.
This wasn't the first time I'd felt left out or even jealous of friends' girlfriends. It was our freshman year of high school and most of my guy friends were now dating. The guys I'd grown up with were suddenly spending their time with girls. But I wanted them to hang out with me. I wanted to be as close to them as their girlfriends were.
I felt like I was keeping a secret bomb inside me that would go off at any time.
These feelings drove me crazy. But it wasn't just loneliness. I also realized I liked hugging my guy friends and stuff like that. I didn't want to have sex with them or anything, but I did think a lot about spending time with them. I constantly thought, Something is wrong here. Finally, one night I got on my knees and prayed, "God, am I gay?" |
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